Ocean spray
As I stand here the murky bubbling mess, I look for you . .
From my industrial platform I survey the vastness.
I imagine the feeling, the ice that would pierce my lungs stealing my breath.
The cold bitter salt splashes me.
A preview only of its tenacious power.
My own ocean falling from my face..
I could fall. Blameless. Then they would cry, but not in anger.
I would be an angel to them, immortalised and innocent. I look for you
I shiver as the blackness swallows me the way I have swallowed it.
When I sleep it will be darker still.
My pain heavy like solid steel .
My fear making a statue of me.
I stand here an icicle thawing threatening to stab.
I think of them but I look for you.
The nausea rising in me like a volcanoe, simmering, tempestuous.
My chest pounds like a ritual dance.I step timidly, holding on.
I am tired now and I have been holding on for so long. I am ready now.
A pink freshness colours the sky is it you? I stepped off but did I find you
(2011)
#Suicide