Oh you who have daring deeds to te… And you who have felt Ambition’s… Have you heard of the louse who lo… In the golden hair of a queen? He sighed all day and he sighed al…

Being a shorty, as you see, A bare five footer, The why my wife is true to me Is my six—shooter. For every time a guy goes by

Oh you who are shy of the popular… (Though most of us seek to survive… Just think of the goldfish who wan… Because she could never be private… There are pebbles and reeds for aq…

Bed and bread are all I need In my happy day; Love of Nature is my creed, Unto her I pray; Sun and sky my spirit feed

I bought a cuckoo clock And glad was I To hear its tick and tock, Its dulcet cry. But Jones, whose wife is young

My worldly wealth I hoard in albu… My life collection of rare postage… My room is cold and bare as you ca… My coat is old and shabby as a tra… Yet more to me than balances in ba…

I’ll wait until my money’s gone Before I take the sleeping pills; Then when they find me in the dawn… Remote from earthly ails and ills They’ll say: “She’s broke, the fo…

I’ve often wondered why Old chaps who choose to die In evil passes, Before themselves they slay, Invariably they

I own a gorgeous Cadillac, A chauffeur garbed in blue; And as I sit behind his back His beefy neck I view. Yet let me whisper, though you may

While for me gapes the greedy grav… It don’t make sense That I should have a crazy crave To paint our fence. Yet that is what I aim to do,

Tick—tocking in my ear My dollar clock I hear. ‘Arise,’ it seems to say: ‘Behold another day To grasp the golden key

“Tuberculosis should not be,” The old professor said. “If folks would hearken unto me 'Twould save a million dead. Nay, no consumptive needs to die,

What are we fighting for, We fellows who go to war? fighting for Freedom’s sake! (You give me the belly—ache.) Freedom to starve or slave!

Time, the Jester, jeers at you; Your life’s a fleeting breath; Your birthday’s flimsy I.O.U. To that old devil, Death. And though to glory you attain,