I met an ancient man who mushed With Peary to the Pole. Said I, “In all that land so hushed What most inspired your soul?” He looked at me with bleary eye,

I bought a cuckoo clock And glad was I To hear its tick and tock, Its dulcet cry. But Jones, whose wife is young

When I am dead I will not care How future generations fare, For I will be so unaware. Though fields their slain has carpeted, And seas be salt with tears they shed,

Sitting in the dentist’s chair, Wishing that I wasn’t there, To forget and pass the time I have made this bit of rhyme. I had a rendez—vous at ten;

Some deem I’m gentle, some I’m kind: It may be so,—I cannot say. I know I have a simple mind And see things in a simple way; And like a child I love to play.

My neighbour has a field of wheat And I a rood of vine; And he will give me bread to eat, And I will give him wine. And so we are a jolly pair,

Said I to Pain: “You would not dare Do ill to me.” Said Pain: “Poor fool! Why should I ca… Whom you may be? To clown and king alike I bring

You’ve heard of Belching Billy, likewis… As punk a chunk of Yukon scum as ever r… A satellite of Soapy Smith, a capper an… A slimy tribute—taker from the Ladies o… But say, you never heard of how he aimed…

O Teddy Bear! with your head awry And your comical twisted smile, You rub your eyes —do you wonder why You’ve slept such a long, long while? As you lay so still in the cupboard dim,

It’s mighty quiet in the house Since Mary Ellen quit me cold; I’ve swept the hearth and fed the mouse That’s getting fat and overbold. I’ve bought a pig’s foot for the pot

“Hae ye heard whit ma auld mither’s post… It fair maks me hamesick,” says Private… “And whit did she send ye?” says Privat… As he cockit his rifle and bleezed at a… “A haggis! A Haggis!” says Private Mc…

'Twas on an iron, icy day I saw a pirate gull down—plane, And hover in a wistful way Nigh where my chickens picked their grai… An outcast gull, so grey and old,

One pearly day in early May I walked up… And saw, say half a mile away, a man wit… A dog was cowering to his will as slow h… Upon a dozen ducks so still they seemed… When like a streak the dog dashed out, t…

This is the pay—day up at the mines, whe… There’s money to burn in the streets to—… With a haggard face and a ribband of red… And I know at the dawn she’ll come reel… One for herself, to drown her shame, and…