Of bosom friends I’ve had but sev… Despite my years are ripe; I hope they’re now enjoying Heave… Although they’re not the type; Nor, candidly, no more am I,

My flask of wine was ruby red And swift I ran my sweet to see; With eyes that snapped delight I… “How mad with love a lad can be!” The moon was laughing overhead;

My first I wed when just sixteen And he was sixty—five. He treated me like any queen The years he was alive. Oh I betrayed him on the sly,

A beggar in the street I saw, Who held a hand like withered claw… As cold as clay; But as I had no silver groat To give, I buttoned up my coat

Father drank himself to death,— Quite enjoyed it. Urged to draw a sober breath He’d avoid it. ‘Save your sympathy,’ said Dad;

The Elders of the Tribe were grou… And squatted in the Council Cave; They seemed to be extremely pooped… And some were grim, but all were g… The subject of their big To—do

Because my teeth are feebly few I cannot bolt my grub like you, But have to chew and chew and chew As you can see; Yet every mouthful seems so good

Although you deem it far from nice… And it perchance may hurt you, Let me suggest that cowardice Can masquerade as virtue; And many a maid remains a maid

What was the blackest sight to me Of all that campaign? A naked woman tied to a tree With jagged holes where her breast… Rotting there in the rain.

Perfection If I could practise what I preach… Of fellows there would few be fine… If I were true to what I teach My life would be a lot diviner.

I think the things I own and love Acquire a sense of me, That gives them value far above The worth that others see. My chattels are of me a part:

In youth I longed to paint The loveliness I saw; And yet by dire constraint I had to study Law. But now all that is past,

When I was with a Shakespeare sho… I played the part of Guildenstern… Or Rosenkrantz —at least I know It wasn’t difficult to learn; By Reader, do not at me scoff,

The same old sprint in the morning… Chained all day to the same old de… Posting the same old greasy books,… Oh, how will I manage to stick it… We’ve bidden good—bye to life in a…

Oh darling Eric, why did you For my fond affection sue, And then with surgeons artful aid Transform yourself into a maid? So now in petticoats you go