Xmas for Weirdos
Xmas for Weirdos
On Xmas eve at the local nut house
All was as quiet as a drunken mouse
When Santa landed on the pointed roof
His butt was draggin’ as he scorched his tusch
Under the Xmas tree, for everyone there was a goody
Sam’s dirty magazines to perk up his woody
Frank’s bottle of whiskey to feed to the cat
A hockey puck to hit with Pete’s baseball bat
Tom got some binoculars to see the girl’s next door
Looking all day long until his eyes got sore
Hank got some food to feed his imaginary giraffe
Then when he couldn’t find it, we all sat around and laughed
Fred got his catcher’s mitt to catch the geese overhead
Old man Roger got his sexy underwear painted red
Santa brought everything to us weirdos what we said
At breakfast Lou tried to eat his stuffed toy leopard
I said it doesn’t taste good without salt and pepper
Crazy Mary stuck her finger in Fred’s coffee
It feels so sexy when it’s hot and soggy
After breakfast, we went outside to slide in the snow
Roger wanted to go out to watch the grass grow
When we told him it doesn’t grow in the winter
He took his pants off then picked up a splinter
When night-time came, it was time to hit the hay
Except for Sam, a little confused what’s night and day
The joint was jumpin’ down at the ole’ nut house today
Merry Xmas to all and to us weirdos also
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