Author's Remarks:
At the outstandingly excellent Alleyne Grammar School I rather delightfully attended in Barbados we had a quite legendary and most iconic English Master: always most respectfully and admiringly referred to by everyone as "Sir", that's how genuinely adored he was. His real name permanently etched in the hearts and minds of all those who knew him was Mr. Kenneth G. Doughlin, as my regular readers will already be quite aware of, as I've often mentioned him in previous articles and other works of my own. A master of the English Language in every respect and who automatically became a model for my own subsequent teaching, Sir was additionally our Classics Master, also our geography teacher and likewise too our Music Director. Undeniably quite an accomplished teacher as you can see.
Sir also actually, quite honestly believed that there is no such thing as good or bad English but rather "appropriate as well as the inappropriate kind". And he explained his established point of view most succinctly as well as eloquently! A true legend to this very day, although he's long departed this life, to my own intake as well as those before me and also subsequent to my having left the Alleyne Grammar School where Sir on the death of the then incumbent Head Master became Head Master himself, to pursue my own chiefly Academic career, still features prominently in my own teaching life.
Outlining his brilliant theory on English, which understandably became my own specialist subject, Sir emphasized his point of view thus. He clarified that no intelligent person would go to their own parents' distinctly wedding anniversary celebration - quite relative to Barbadian society that is, and use invectives while actually delivering a speech to relatives and friends who were likewise, naturally obviously assembled there; nor would one generally use any such invective in church. However, if one was doing let's say a spot of DIY - for the undoubtedly uninitiated among you who're obviously unfamiliar with this expression it simply stands for Do It Yourself, around clearly the house where you live, and as a clear result of such activities while essaying, for argument sake, to drive a nail into a piece of wood, missed that nail totally, but instead accidentally and decidedly rather painfully clobber your thumb and a couple of fingers, you quite obviously don't respond to that calamity by then discernibly calmly saying, "Oh dear me! What a truly silly thing I've really done!"
We all of us instantaneously knew what Sir mean and approved entirely. And for myself throughout my own teaching as well as my Academic career at the very diverse levels I've worked educationally, I've distinctly and actually categorically embarked on as well as employed Sir's own methods in relation to, as well, his personal formula into my own teaching approach. And why I have neither any hesitation nor the slightest modicum of regret in effectively branding Samantha Mary as what I absolutely undoubtedly and distinctively, do unequivocally also see her as!
And to all the distinctly, unquestionably and likeminded morons as she actually is here's an astute piece of advice. Pay first, consume later; quite simple really! And simply doesn't necessarily require a Mensa IQ to essentially comprehend that concept. Furthermore, many items like bananas are essentially weighed at the checkout counter and their genuine cost really and significantly determined by their weight. So effectively then how in hell's name can a cashier on the very crucial checkout counter undoubtedly and realistically assess the true price of such items if you Samantha Mary other twits like yourself, coupled invariably as is rather the discernible case in the UK, with your bastardly produced and quite literally, totally ill-mannered and simply uncontrollable sprogs have previously and quite essentially devoured part of the goods or other edible merchandise?