crabbit old woman
for my nan (her fave old poem)
what do you see nurses, what do you see
what do you see while looking at me
a Crabbit old woman not very wise
uncertain of Habit with fare—away eyes
who dribbles her food and makes no reply
when you say in a stern voice i do wish you’d try
who seems not to notice the things that you do
and forever losing a stocking or shoe
who unresisting or not lets you do as you will
with bathing and feeding a long day to fill
is that what your thinking is that what you see
then open your eyes nurse your not looking at me
i will tell you who i am as i lie here so still
as i dose at your bidding and eat at your will
im a small child of ten with a father and mother
and brothers and sisters who love one another
a young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet
dreaming that now a lover she’ll meet
a bride soon at twenty my heart skips a beat
remembering the vows i promise to keep
at twenty five now i have young of my own
who need me to build a safe happy home
a woman of forty my young now grow fast
bound to each—other with ties that should last
at fifty my young sons now grown will be gone
but my fella stays beside me to see i dont mourn
at sixty once more babies sit on my knee
again we know children my husband and me
dark days are upon me my husband is dead
i look at the future i shudder with dread
my sons are all busy raising sons of thier own
and i think of the years and the love that ive known
im an old woman now and nature is cruel
tis my jest to make old age look like a fool
the body it crumbles grace and vigour departs
theres one big stone where i once had a heart
but inside this old carcase a young girl still dwells
and now and again my batterd heart swells
i remember the joys i remember the pain
im living and loving all over again
i think of the years all gone to fast
and accept the harsh fact that nothing can last
so open your eyes nurses open and see
not a crabbit old woman look closer see mee
by phylis mcormack
