Brian Patten

Minister for Exams

When I was a child I sat an exam.
This test was so simple
There was no way i could fail.
 
Q1. Describe the taste of the Moon.
 
It tastes like Creation I wrote,
it has the flavour of starlight.
 
Q2. What colour is Love?
 
Love is the colour of the water a man
lost in the desert finds, I wrote.
 
Q3. Why do snowflakes melt?
 
I wrote, they melt because they fall
on to the warm tongue of God.
 
There were other questions.
They were as simple.
 
I described the grief of Adam
when he was expelled from Eden.
I wrote down the exact weight of
an elephant’s dream
 
Yet today, many years later,
For my living I sweep the streets
or clean out the toilets of the fat
hotels.
 
Why? Because constantly I failed
my exams.
Why? Well, let me set a test.
 
Q1. How large is a child’s
imagination?
Q2. How shallow is the soul of the
Minister for exams?
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