To The Gallows
“It’s off to the gallows, I go, I go.
Hip, hip hooray, what a wonderful day.
What a beautiful looking crossbar up there,
The same color as my polka-dot shirt.
Don’t want to go out with the wrong color.
Gotta look good for my maker up there.
Hello executioner, what a gentleman you are.
Thank you for taking me by the arm.
Look at that foxy girl in the front row.
Hi ya Toots, what’s your number?
Oh yea, I forgot. It won’t
Do me much good where I’m going.
I can just stare at those pretty legs.
Hey Mr. Executioner, did you hear
The joke about the boring executionee?
Don’t worry about him.
He won’t be hanging around very long.
Wow, you sure know how to tie a knot.
Did you learn that in Boy Scouts?
I learned about knots, but that’s a real knot.
You guys sure know your stuff.
You guys are the cream of the crop,
The best of the best,
And the guys above all guys,
Swinging that noose around my neck.
If I was looking for an executioner,
I’d sure call on you guys.
What’s my last words, you asked?
I’d like to kiss you on the cheek,
And I’d like to kiss that foxy girl
Right on those red lips of hers.
Am I ready to go?
Goody good, good
Let’s go.
Swing me like you
Never swung one before.
Bye, bye, everybody.
It’s been good to know you.
We-e-e-e-e-e-e.”
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