My fellow man I do not care for. I often ask me, What’s he there f… The only answer I can find Is, Reproduction of his kind. If I’m supposed to swallow that,

The summer like a rajah dies, And every widowed tree Kindles for Congregationalist eye… An alien suttee.

The truth I do not stretch or sho… When I state that the dog is full… I’ve also found, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.

In spite of her sniffle, Isabel’s chiffle. Some girls with a sniffle Would be weepy and tiffle; They would look awful,

I sit in the dusk. I am all alone… Enter a child and an ice-cream con… A parent is easily beguiled By sight of this coniferous child. The friendly embers warmer gleam,

Bound to your bookseller, leap to… Deluge your dealer with bakshish a… Lean on the counter and never say… Wodehouse and Wooster are with us… Flourish the fish-slice, your butt…

A child need not be very clever To learn that “Later, dear” means…

The hunter crouches in his blind ‘Neath camouflage of every kind And conjures up a quacking noise To lend allure to his decoys This grown-up man, with pluck and…

Barber, barber, come and get me; Hairy torrents irk and fret me. Hair and hair again appears; And climbs like ivy round my ears. Hair across my collar gambols;

A bit of talcum Is always walcum.

Some people, and it doesn’t matter whether they are paupers or millionaires, Think that anything they have is the best in the world just because it is theirs. If they happen to own a ...

Song of the Open Road I think that I shall never see A billboard as lovely as a tree. Perhaps unless the billboards fall… I’ll never see a tree at all.

He who is ridden by a conscience Worries about a lot of nonscience; He without benefit of scruples His fun and income soon quadruples…