#AmericanWriters
The doctor gets you when you’re bo… The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly c… If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no car…
Senescence begins And middle age ends The day your descendents Outnumber your friends.
Who is the happy husband? Why, in… 'Tis he who’s useless in the time… Who, asked to unclasp a bracelet o… Contrives to be utterly futile, fu… Or when a zipper nips his loved on…
Now when I have a cold I am careful with my cold, I consult a physician And I do as I am told. I muffle up my torso
A girl whose cheeks are covered wi… Has an advantage with me over one…
The summer like a rajah dies, And every widowed tree Kindles for Congregationalist eye… An alien suttee.
Tell me, O Octopus, I begs Is those things arms, or is they l… I marvel at thee, Octopus; If I were thou, I’d call me Us.
A mighty creature is the germ, Though smaller than a pachyderm. His customary dwelling place Is deep within the human race. His childish pride he often please…
He tells you when you’ve got on t… And helps you with your girdle wh…
My friends all know that I am shy… But the chipmunk is twice and shy… He moves with flickering indecisio… Like stripes across the television… He’s like the shadow of a cloud,
The Lord in His wisdom made the f… And then forgot to tell us why.
A bit of talcum Is always walcum.
There is something about a Martin… A tingle remarkably pleasant; A yellow, a mellow Martini; I wish I had one at present. There is something about a Martin…
The cow is of bovine ilk; One end is moo, the other is milk.
Hypochondriacs Spend the winter at the bottom of… the Adirondriacs. You go to Paris and live on champ… If you’re dipsomognac.