There is something about a Martin… A tingle remarkably pleasant; A yellow, a mellow Martini; I wish I had one at present. There is something about a Martin…

For years we’ve had a little dog, Last year we acquired a big dog; He wasn’t big when we got him, He was littler than the dog we had… We thought our little dog would lo…

The Lord in His wisdom made the f… And then forgot to tell us why.

Oh, weep for Mr. and Mrs. Bryan! He was eaten by a lion; Following which, the lion’s liones… Up and swallowed Bryan’s Bryaness…

A girl whose cheeks are covered wi… Has an advantage with me over one…

So Thomas Edison Never drank his medicine; So Blackstone and Hoyle Refused cod-liver oil; So Sir Thomas Malory

There here are words of radical ad… Young man, be a snob. Yes, if you are in search of argum… Why I’ve gottem. Let the personnel managers differ;

The song of canaries Never varies, And when they’re moulting They’re pretty revolting.

One cantaloupe is ripe and lush, Another’s green, another’s mush. I’d buy a lot more cantaloupe If I possessed a fluoroscope.

There was a young belle of Natche… Whose garments were always in patc… When comment arose On the state of her clothes, She drawled, When Ah itchez, Ah…

In spite of her sniffle, Isabel’s chiffle. Some girls with a sniffle Would be weepy and tiffle; They would look awful,

I sit in an office at 244 Madison… And say to myself You have a resp… Why then do you fritter away your… If you have a sore throat you can… If you have a sore foot you can ge…

The truth I do not stretch or sho… When I state that the dog is full… I’ve also found, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.