I don’t understand. I don’t understand the cruelty The darkness The fear This choking feeling.

The wind Loves To boast of Fickle love, But my

I live inside my head Where soft flurries spin, And there’s a rise of warm water b… I live inside my head Where spikes stick out

I’m so broken, And the glass stings were my façad… There’s nothing left to do. There’s nothing left to say. There’s no air left for me to brea…

I sing of a new carol Which starts silly giggles As a speeding blue carriage Runs merrily through the dark.

Nights of chuckling After no jokes And Dancing without nerves Become me

Listening to you sleep, I’m in grace. Each breath a prayer. Every rustle a litany. You don’t know how loud you are

This feeling Makes me want to bless my friends… And find redemption in death. I want to stand in the rain 'Til my bones shake apart

Am I incurable? It seems so. I’m an incorrigible invalid Of the heart.

Things I wish I could say Would be I miss you, I love you, I want to be with you,

With him, It’s like there were no scars. There are no sheepish looks No burning shame. There was no John

I died on Tuesday. My soul floated up Above my milky corpse, And I smiled. I saw my family,

If flowers could cry, Would the water out-spilled Also drown them Like a sloshing grave of Wet mud?

I could hop on a train. Grow akin to the screaming and whi… Where would I go? Far from here, from cold. Tell my parents my love,