Beneath my smile, por M. Mc Graugh

Beneath my smile

I’m falling apart beneath my smile.

I grapple blindly for a rope

To save myself from rising waters.

I come up, lungs full of despair,

And my parents cover my mouth

To silence my screams

Because they don’t want a broken daughter.

He helps her with her blush. She’s surging red, Velvet and soft like a rose. Her mouth’s gone dry With his wind.

You don’t ask me to speak. You never expect my opinion. I was your second child In a runaway marriage. I suppose I loved you once,

I wish I could tell my brother That I loved him, But the words are tight in my thro… And I’m a coward. I wish I didn’t say “thank you”

Last night, all I saw was Nancy. The way she cried when I held her… Like a fleshy cradle Around her broken heart. I saw her loving me

That’s why she died– Because she never let anyone hold… She didn’t trust herself. She didn’t let anyone love her Or touch her

What you meant– What I meant When I said, “I love you.” What you meant to me Wasn’t what you said

Things I wish I could say Would be I miss you, I love you, I want to be with you,

Your love Was like driving straight into the… Your attention was like Lying in a puddle of gold. You were sex and fun and cotton ca…

This feeling Makes me want to bless my friends… And find redemption in death. I want to stand in the rain 'Til my bones shake apart

There’s so much blood in blood cou… As there are stones in my heart When I hear your name. The winged-pig can fly daily Once I’ve let myself remember

Flurries in India: Nothing’s impossible If life is a string Pulling me along.

My broken heart Throbs dysfunctionally. It beats to a cracked rhythm Between dead, dead, dead And life, life, life.

Winter is getting worse. Is there no justice In my punishment Brought about by my peers? I yearn to burrow in warm dirt

I ran from you all my life. I’ve had problems, But that doesn’t make it right.

I find no release. I die. I die, Yet I’m not free. Not 'til I die.