Dear Baby's Daddy
I can not hear from you, please!
Dear baby daddy, where ever you are,
I want you to know that I do fail to notice you by far.
You ill-treated me to no end when no one was there,
Around my mother or anyone you would not dare.
When I understood, I labeled as a coward at his best,
I often think about your anger towards me as you rest.
Praying to God about the son you left behind,
He turned out like you over a period of time.
Very abusive to women and others he meet,??That devil??…I will defeat!
As I grew to understand that what you did was not cool,
Your intact being so cold and cruel.
Why were you so filled with rage I must ask?
Relationships…and marriages should be a Blessing and not a task.
I guess you never learned to love anyone you met,
A sadistic cycle…I am willing to bet.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my son with ALL of my heart,
Through my loving mother’s quest to help me with him, we grew apart.
Now born, living and descended from your evil soul,
An inquiry from him about you I pray remained untold.
“Rest In Peace” I would NEVER say to you…
The pain and hurt you caused me my mother never knew.
Seeing you again is certainly not something I wish,
Forgetting what you done is something I can not accomplish.
Because I see you in my son each and everyday,
I pray to God…that that vicious cycle will go away.
I will not say thank you for my son…because it was God
...and God alone,
I will love him dearly until I am dead and gone.
So again, as I live life I will continue pray…
to God that my son will change one DAY!!
Hell, is where you should be…
Thank God there was NEVER a you and me!
Your son’s name is J**** jus’ in case.
Again, I never hope to see you again face-to-face!
Seems your family tried to cover up why you took your own life,
But it came out that your father, abused you, G*** and your mother, his first wife.
It sad to know that you were probably molested like[ our] son by YOUR dad,
When he died, I was not sad.
All I could think about was that he hurt everyone around him and you were the worst end result,
And that he was born and raised to be a monsterous adult.
How for back in the family this abuse go,
With him gone, I guess we will never, ever know.
If you are listening from above¿,
The ONLY thing I regret is that you were never taught to love.
Signed [[hatred for you, I MUST ask God to help me...
(1999)
Teen abuse. Not sure if I would ever want to relive this pain. "not sure", you ask? You hear people say all of the time, "if I could just do it all over again with what I know now". Perhaps, prison would have saved him from suicide. I still think to this day that his father, my son's
grandfather was the most miserable man that I have ever seen. Though, I never witness his biological Mom being abused (only from him telling me), I did witness his second wife get thrown down a flight of stairs and beaten until she was black and blue. I will never forget the physical aggression, the evil words and the look of death in his eyes, never. I was threaten on that very day "not to tell a soul" and the only thing I wanted was my son, his descendent from him. ...you know what was so freakin' bizarre, there were others, humans, people, spectators, individuals, lack of mankind, ok...whatEVER you want to call them, standing and witnessing the same horrible crime in which I was SOLELY threaten "not to tell a soul"...how far back did this abuse toward women go in this family or what sparked this type behavior? Isn't enough to force sex, for the woman to endure emotional regret after, and then to bare the labor pain of having your child!? Father God today!
