Republished with permission of Midwest Poetry Review, 1997
(News Item:Scientists photographed men’s faces, then measured their testosterone levels. They showed these photos to women, asking them which men they would prefer for sex and which ...
Polyphemus Hurt by Schtick (Apologies to Abbot and Costello) When Ulysses poked out Polyphemus… The giant ran to friends, who hear… “Nobody blinded me!” —but then he…
The Afghan women, dreading stones… don sacks of baggy black, concealing them from crown to sole… excepting narrow Brink-truck slots through which the men folk let the…
Poetry Editors To Poets Don’t send us dull pentameters; That stuff’s for Keats and other… Submit no rhyme, but heaven knows We hate a poem that sounds like pr…
Autumn in Florida Smug live oaks drop a leaf or two, Acknowledging the time of year; Droll cypress take from this their… Turn rust as if their end is near.
My parents always seemed to be hum… Protecting beasts once sought with… And eating guiltily the ones still… Ennobling evolution’s theme . . .… They gave me newer weapons, bats a…
Kinds of Dignity 1. A Parade: Once in his life the veteran had a chance to do a t… remote from termites, drains and f…
I will not wear shorts, wing-tip s… I will continue to be grateful tha… I will not listen to any salesman… I will quit telling people how I… I will not say, “I don’t know wha…
Academic Editors I hate the callow ones who think t… And have therefore the right to cr… I hate the ones who charge me twen… So I can try to win a ten-buck pr…
Poets are, to most, myopic geeks, Effeminates with scarves and inch-… writing schmaltz with feathered qu… There are, it’s true, purveyors of… of teddy bears and valentines,
Aesop as Existentialist They’d suffered through a devasta… And many larvae died from lack of… The queen, as well, grew thin for… Thus forcing all the workers to co…
American Ethics An ancient joke tells how a kid wh… his parents out of rage or just fo… Then cons the judge by citing all… He’ll surely suffer as a lonely or…
A magic trick will awe the laity, So though it make of me a vile par… I say if he had lived Year One A… Copperfield might be today’s Mess…
He could not paint a world that g… For his shimmered softly. His cliffs, cathedrals, seas appe… congenial things of liquid light; and even locomotives seem