Ode to My Crescent Wrench
Oh shiny and versatile Crescent Wrench
That hangs on my wall, near my work bench.
You have a hole, at one end, for hanging you from;
Your designer was brilliant, he wasn’t so dumb.
My wrench is chrome plated
And Consumer Reports Rated.
As a Best Bargain Buy,
At $4.95, I gave it a try!
It’s pinion is tight
And it’s rack is just right
For a flawless operation
Along it’s graduation.
Its grip is secure with a safety-grip coating,
It is handy for the garage or even for boating.
And it is fully guaranteed never to break;
A money-back warranty, for goodness sake.
Yes, to see my Crescent Wrench so proudly displayed
Is a tribute to the workers and the product they made.
But when I see it, it almost brings me to tears,
Because I used it just once, in the last twenty years.
D. Thurmond / JEF — 07-16-2016
