In becoming a celebrity a person meets the same kind of de… that a tree does in becoming a Christmas tree– embalmed in sugar

The ugly duckling Is not a duck But he is a lucky duck

They put a circle at dead ends so you can either live there or turn back but we just keep

Imagine the disappointment when we… both wearing Velcro singlets but each fashioned from the softer… with nary a hook between us

Zionism is the hill I will die on To be buried in the ground From which the world to come Is about to burst forth

Everyone makes fun of the weatherman for getting the forecast wrong as if getting it right is his real job

Democracy was superseded not by a police state but by a witness protection progra…

Before the culture war you could talk to someone anyone say what you think and, when necessary, append a

It would have been enough Had God merely kept His promises But since He knows a thing or two About human psychology God always under-promises and over…

The ill-informed Regret to inform you That knowledge is dour But groupthink is power

A man without an enemy is like a vampire with a reflection

The narcissist has just the one advantage but it’s all that he needs: Instead of looking his true self i… he gets to look his false self in…

I always liked making people laugh until my undergraduates told me that it was an abuse of power asym…

Forgetting that God has promised To never repeat the Flood We’ve busied ourselves opening the… Expecting to end it all As we flood the planes

Everyone who uses language believes in God Prayer is the act of admitting that you believe in God