If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock

I’ve been gaining valuable experie… In on-the-job training It’s a big job But somebody’s got to do it– I’m learning how to predict the fu…

We guard the thin line between love and hate by loving more But we cross the thin line between self-love and self-hate

In His infinite wisdom God made the pen mightier than the… Which is why the internet’s first… Is the First Amendment It’s only once free speech and fre…

I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

As human beings Every last one of us Is trying to get away with somethi… So, give thanks to God– He will never let us get away

Only a poet Can accurately describe anything More accurately A poet can describe anything Except himself

At the end of The Sorcerer’s App… as chaos reaches a crescendo the sorcerer appears just in time and sets things back in order Apprenticed to no one,

The difference between Being asleep at the wheel And being asleep at the wheel Of a self-driving car Is that in the former

The revolution will be permanent When nobody means what they say But everybody memes what they say

I like to think of The signs we are all seeing As God’s soft opening

I’ve done the math and the whole is only greater than the sum of its parts when the group is made up of individuals

All of reality is a temptation To believe in yourself But if you do You’ll never get it– Self-confidence is always lacking

Our elites believe That the key to holding their grip… In the face of domestic opposition… Wringing their necks While in the face of external thre…