I was the first ever lobster discovered in the wild with a rubber band around my claw clamping it shut
The devil is in the details And God is in my feelings Here are the details on my feeling… I feel like The devil is just here to force th…
For the longest time we were convinced there’s something they’re not tell… But now that they’ve finally told… we can’t stop asking
On a sphere If you drill down far enough Eventually you will find yourself Drilling up to the surface So, while we may never get to the…
Women give hints So that men will think It was their idea I’ve never been good at taking a h… But I’m good at following orders
You’re not allowed to copy from your neighbor because you’re supposed to copy from your teacher
When our mirror stage was over we didn’t just lose the mirror we also lost the stage In replacement we got a screen (for screening out…
When you first arrive in hell they… Get comfortable, you’re going to b… Which is exactly how they hold on…
I know I think, Therefore I am All knowing Unless
You will have noticed by now That the phrase Public humiliation Is redundant
Life is defined by failure But you can transcend failure If you die trying
The essay portion of the test Was explaining why The test only consists Of multiple-choice questions So, I wrote:
Antisemitism is suddenly easy to f… It’s a mile wide and just scratch the surface an inch deep– You’ll find it there
Forecasting the rain in Spain is mainly done in vain
She believed me when I said that my life was based on a true story
