As the enormous asteroid hurtled toward Earth I found myself working harder than ever

Do I still get credit For ignoring the critics If they are just the voices in my…

They couldn’t have been more obvio… in their preparations for the surp… trusting that I was the type loathe to ruin my own surprise

Our bodies are exactly as strong as gravity’s resistance makes them… in recognition of mortality we symbolize this through the know… that gravity is the weakest

When you move fast and break thing… broken things can’t move dividing us into those who can’t move and those who are unmoved

I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside

Less self-interest is in your best interest except on Pinterest

The lower classes are those people who are not allowed to compete To feel good about perpetuating th…

My wife– All 5 feet of her– Busted me out of prison So that I could get back To a life of time

The truth will set you free but consensus will get you academi… i.e., tenure

The first thing I fell in love with was her out-of-office notification

Our brains are just big enough to operate eight fingers and two thumbs An octopus is smart but if it also had

The most hellish aspect of hell is how some of the people there don’t mind it at all

In the new version of socialism You can own as much property as yo… You just can’t own your mistakes

I believe in a future in which man perfects the art of expressing his discontent in bushes that look like clouds