In the beginning God said Let there be light A week later In the Garden of Eden

Asked to account for his success w… he explained that he drives his ca… like he won it on The Price Is R…

Al Gore didn’t invent the internet He created a device for the reinforcement of irrational thoughts and behaviors

After you’ve uploaded everything t… and run the lot of it through the… be sure to recycle, but keep a lit… perhaps in a locket around your ne… or, if you go in for irony,

I hope to live several decades more making it odd to know so very well what they’ll put

You’ll be able to tell that nobody knows what anything is wort… when no one knows who they can tru…

Never trust anyone who doesn’t believe in hell They’re almost always the ones whose idea of heaven is usurping God

Heads you take the risk Tails I take the reward i.e., Out of many risks, one fortune

As social animals the central question of our lives asked and answered answered and asked day upon day

Jews have learned the hard way How to discern when someone has Failed to earn their F for failin… The tell is whenever a Jew just Living a life

Every time I screw up God says what He has to say and then He says Over and I always think

We thought it would last forever but in retrospect we were having a high time at low tide when the clam digging was easy and the eating was good

Life isn’t fair But we are all equals In the struggle To stay out of judging others For failing at their struggles–

When the whole world is a disaster area everyone becomes a comic relief worker

At the risk of defeating myself I’ll say it in vain: Love and aggression are sutured by pain making war and peace