A wise man once told me that there are two kinds of family prob… He said Family Problem #1 is not having a family
7 in 10 Americans believe in heave… while only 6 in 10 believe in hell which is why the house always wins
Six days of innovation One day of relaxation I guarantee: Creation!
When you move fast and break thing… broken things can’t move dividing us into those who can’t move and those who are unmoved
In the latest version of Captain… Captain America’s archenemy is Captain Obvious for all the obvious reasons
All the real archetypes are from the circus and I thought I was a clown until I found myself shot from a cannon
If my peccadillos Are mere cigarillos Why is my hide as thick as an arma…
This is a much simpler question than What does a woman want? Hamas wants to kill all Jews in Israel
At this late juncture All eating is competitive eating But in the world to come All competition will be An excuse for a feast
The moment I think It’s beneath me the solid ground collapses into a sinkhole where I remain
We are sleeping on God And our slumber is What keeps God up at night Worried we won’t make it home Where the heart is
Two roads diverged the one to the left leading up the garden path the one to the right leading down the garden path
The brain is the heart’s fifth chamber and I am the chambermaid
My wife– All 5 feet of her– Busted me out of prison So that I could get back To a life of time
Before I met you the happiest I’d ever been was when everything I’d ever wante… was on lay-away because I didn’t have to make any…
