In all my years as warden I could never figure out how to co… with NFPA code 14.14.1.5.1- “Access to exits shall be marked b… readily visible signs in all cases…

Descartes wanted certainty He got it Now we’re stuck with it Uncertain how we get unstuck Does this mean we’re doomed or sav…

My life was about to go down the drain but the drain was clogged

The opposite of failure Isn’t success It’s epic failure

If you’re locked out of your house you can die from exposure but if you’re locked in your house you can die from overexposure

In cyberspace We play Simon Says In an endless repetition of Repeat after me In the world to come

The difference between Being asleep at the wheel And being asleep at the wheel Of a self-driving car Is that in the former

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal

Crypto is for the solvent Crypto is a solvent Invest amongst yourselves

If people tell you what they plan to do and you don’t believe them it’s because pretending they don’t really mean it

A movement can only cohere around a shared wish and the left sticks together by collectively wishing that Jews deserve what they get

If you want to ruin a man give him what he wants– This is the devil’s only secret

I’ve wasted most of my life wondering Why do I believe in God? when I should have been asking Why does God believe in me?

My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…

Peace is not the goal It is the byproduct of the goal The goal is obvious Which is why we can’t see it