Insanity is also seeing people do the same thing over and over again and expecting them to let you cons…

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

You bet your bottom dollar I’ll bet the bottom of my heart

In order to live I can’t die (but you can) In order to live and let live I must (eventually) die

The dictatorship of the professori… uses neologisms to prevent counter elocution and to speed the transition to authentic sophism and the

When a woman chooses her mate His first real test Is whether he accepts her dare To propose If he does, we already know her an…

Instead of a scythe the mirthful reaper carried balloo… and we just floated away

We are gathered around our phones Like little campfires And all we ever hear Are scary stories

Our mistake is in believing That a lifetime of events Come varyingly in one of two forms… Blessing or curse When in truth

I dream in color but my interpretations are in black and white

There are two types of men: Those who lie to deceive and those who by lying tell you what they really believe There is one type of woman:

God is one And God is the one that got away But God is still the one that’s got a way

Beauty is in the eye of the stockholder

Liberalism deepened by religion Religion widened by liberalism Until the body and soul politic Is so deep That it swallows our fears

Liberalism can be confused with ni… where you have to believe in nothi… or with Unitarian Universalism where you’re encouraged to believe… as much of everything as you like