The biggest reason I ever did any… Was always my ego Even as a part of me insisted There must be something bigger That part, the heart

I have half a mind to lose my mind and half a mind to find God The question, natch

Because, per Morrissey “We hate it when our friends becom… we got rid of success by eliminating all competition except for the number of friends

God is infinitely demanding (MC… Because (=) God is infinitely rewarding (E)

All self-help books boil down to this: You can’t fold a piece of paper more than 7 times but if you could fold it 103 times

Everyone makes fun of the weatherman for getting the forecast wrong as if getting it right is his real job

Why bother keeping score when death assures that things always end in a tie Soon you’ll be able to get rid of death

Inborn intelligence used to be tak… but for some time now it’s gone un… With Artificial Intelligence it c… although after insertion it’s alwa… Nevertheless, everyone seems perfe…

To those who say they’ll keep working until they die I say don’t die–

If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted

Acting locally solved climate change but now instead of a life or death situati… which at least had a degree of rom…

In the age of divorce It needs to be said: If you don’t want to end up divorc… Do not covet your neighbor’s ex-wi…

You have to believe to commit And they think we’re crazy to beli… And would commit us as inpatients If only they had the patience But their patience has worn thin

The makers of Fitbit Bring you the Pleasure Measure Because after you get your steps i… It’s time to get your fun done!

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal