For our civilization to function everyone must be willing to meet at the disappointed hour where if you’re not five minutes t… you’re early
Would my dentist still want me to floss if he knew that’s how I justified not going to the dentist
“You want fries with that?” used to be a line to mock the working poor How ironic that “You want fries with that?”
We are all of us unreliable narrators Some of us just make a living at it
I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside
I can love God forever Or I can have a beautiful bust of… And gaze upon it until I die Or, even better Upload the image of my bust to the…
After years of therapy I was able to go from survivor’s guilt to thriver’s guilt
Civilization is an attempt to filibuster death
Life is trying So Die trying
When people say I live on my phone I wonder how they withstand the pr… Of eight tons per square inch
In banishing fear of the unknown By knowing it all Our risk is only greater Because now It’s the devil you know
On business trips to Moscow I never wear my three piece suit
Our central moral sentiment– that doing the right thing is its… hasn’t done us much good because through it we live in deni… that in this world
For a long time, the centrists were at the center of attention where the action was But now they find themselves at the center of a hall of mirrors
I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork
