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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

The Tree of Wife

Whereas Stanford decided
to make its mascot a tree
my wife is a decision tree
and I am her mascot
even though I couldn’t get into Stanford

Other works by Chris Gaither...
Following the Science

Originally a method for learning from mistakes science had been debased into a tool for sorting right from wrong
The West Declared Victory in the War Between Good and Evil When It Secured a Permanent Stalemate

Of course, the west Still thinks it’s the best And in the postmodern west The best is the worst Which is all well and good
Oh, the Humanities!

The trick is to craft a conformism so elaborate that you convince yourself it’s bespoke
All Life Is Connected, Which Is Why We’re All Dying of Loneliness

Is it live? Let’s go to instant replay For constant analysis While we wait and see And while we wait for it
St. Francis of Pachisi

I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed
Goodbye and Good Luck

Imagine what the mannequins say to… as they go their separate ways fro… as each ships out from the factory A religious mannequin says: There, but for the grace of God,…
Is the Water Half-crazy, Half-sly, or Simply Foxy

The soul is like water The body a glass And a dead body is just A glass from which All the water has evaporated
“Let it go, let it go”

A snowflake is a raindrop With a pattern that has crystalliz… And we are seeing patterns all aro… Because hell is finally freezing o…
Whenever It Looks Like Batman and Robin Are Climbing a Wall with the Batrope, It Is Just a Camera Trick; We Too Face a Wall That Becomes the Ground Beneath Our Feet the Moment We Believe, Grasp the Rope, and Take Our First Steps Up the Wall

You don’t have to believe in God But if you don’t I believe you will hit a wall That wall is the limit of your thi… Since you will only be able to go
“My Head All Full of Stuffin’, My Heart All Full of Pain”

People wonder how long it will tak… AI to get smarter than us but the smart money is on us getting dumber than AI first
Feminine Mystery

The first thing I fell in love with was her out-of-office notification
It Goes Without Saying

In families adept at keeping open secrets no one expects you to state the obvious
It’s a Slow Process, It Costs a Lot of Money, and It Involves a Lot of Drudgery, but in the End, You Get to Be Alone with Your Clone

Imagine all the things They wouldn’t allow If they were invented now Anything fast: No motorcycles
With Friends Like These, Who Needs the Enemy of My Enemy to Hit the Like Button and Subscribe?

My fellow Americans Where once we shared a collective… We called the will of the people That simultaneously tamed and expr… We have now regressed to the preci…
Ditch the Lexus; You’re a Nexus; God Connects Us

We are connected therefore I think I am A nexus without a group



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