Every night when Smokey Bear would tuck me in… the last thing he always said was Only you can prevent forest fires

Forecasting the rain in Spain is mainly done in vain

I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside

The question isn’t: Why is there something rather than nothing? It’s: Why does it mean something

In the new version of Heads I win, tails you lose People hate to be wrong But love to apologize And if you accept their apology

The difference between being hungr… And being power hungry Is that hunger can be satisfied This is because God is

The passage from thinking we are more intelligent than other animals because we have more power to realizing that we have

The first difference between your… When you know your boss’s eyes are… You need to look busy But when you know God’s eyes are… You actually want to get busy

A smart phone is 1/7 billionth of a doomsday machine

There’s equality And there’s e-quality You know the former when you see i… You know the latter when it sees y…

It’s horrifying when two parties have a suicide pact but it’s exponentially worse that the far right and far left

I was a bullshit artist until I realized a career as a bullshit scientist paid better

The human brain has 100 trillion synaptic connections which sounds like a lot but it’s only 0.0000000005% of the universe’s 200 billion tril…

You’ll be able to tell that nobody knows what anything is wort… when no one knows who they can tru…