When the world is a tsar Insisting: Don’t you dare be who… Take it as a dare and risk the sca…

I know a guy who knows Paul Simon who told me the real reason for th… was that Paul got sick of Garfunk… stalling for thyme

Given a choice I’d rather open a restau– rant than my marriage

Because there is no I in lions, if a lion could talk, it couldn’t say I Which is to say, a lion can starve but never lacks,

I hope to live several decades more making it odd to know so very well what they’ll put

At work They know me by my secret identity The mild-mannered Clark Kent But at home with my family I can relax and let them see the r…

Forgetting that God has promised To never repeat the Flood We’ve busied ourselves opening the… Expecting to end it all As we flood the planes

My children have no idea they are living through a golden age of comedy

The difference between God and ma… Is that man can’t abide A free Jew While God will abide With the Jews

Successful interpretation of the m… Codex on the Golden Rule found in the cavernous ruins of early 21st century civilization may hold the key to understanding

When God closes one store He opens another

The passage from thinking we are more intelligent than other animals because we have more power to realizing that we have

Whereas Mayor McCheese loved reading about himself in the newsp… ex-Mayor McCheese was served with divorce papers

In the cold war the gravest danger was recklessnes… which we solved with Mutually Assured Destruction The culture war

Afraid that everything I wanted was nothing to write home about I was left with nothing to write home about