It’s only once you realize There’s no such thing As your own success That you avoid becoming A victim of your own success

Excuse me, Are you still Taking excuses?

My children have no idea they are living through a golden age of comedy

Not much has changed but now I’m a glass is ten per– cent full kind of guy

The truth will set you free but consensus will get you academi… i.e., tenure

If you’re locked out of your house you can die from exposure but if you’re locked in your house you can die from overexposure

Language shouldn’t work A word, all words Are defined by other words Defined by still further words And on and on

The easiest way to tell that climate change is a new religion is that it allows for plenty of missed deadlines

The internet is the opposite of th… When a memory is repressed you get it back even though you can’t remember it But when it is memory-holed

They weren’t allowed to forcibly i… but in 2032 the Supreme Court app… for those who refused In a stroke of luck I was assigne… to the “Canadian” tar sands

People tend to be wrong and through their errors get closer to the truth This is known as freedom The most sacred narratives

There are no atheists in foxholes; the world is a foxhole

“Life”, as it’s come to be known,… And ends with a grand finale But in between there’s just a lot… And grandiloquent small talk But there are grand plans for a se…

A rational actor knows a thing or… First, he knows that by definition a solution solves a problem Second, he knows that

I need the guy who trains your mind so that you can walk barefoot across hot coals to come to my house