My shampoo is nine– ty nine percent natural, as if that were enough
When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs
There Is Always Room For
Writing history is hard especially when it’s about the past
Of course, the west Still thinks it’s the best And in the postmodern west The best is the worst Which is all well and good
Your soul is mission control And Houston We have a problem Literally Problem is
In becoming a celebrity a person meets the same kind of de… that a tree does in becoming a Christmas tree– embalmed in sugar
How do I love me? Let me count t… I love me to the depths of my stom… and when in line in front of a lum… I’ll take the last fried rice in t… I love me to the level of Wall St…
Faced with a forced choice The agnostic feigns ignorance For if you ask a woman to marry yo… And she says I don’t know
How anti-Semites use exegesis to… against the Jews: Step 1 – Cite Love your Enemy Step 2- Interpret
I didn’t know my own strength because my strength is in numbers But now I know that my greatest w… was wanting to be number one Fortunately, while it’s easy to ge…
Life is a test but I’d been treating it like a quiz– which is a preparation for a test– under the assumption that when I d…
Like Coke for Coca-Cola, Mr. Pibb is short for Mr. Pibb, ABD
Sanity requires distance And social media is always Right at our fingertips
If your phalanges cause you to philander pluck off the ring
