Life has given us pumpkins ostensibly for carving and smashing but I smell an opportunity though the opportunity cost

Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator

Knowing is half the battle but it’s always been left unsaid t… the other half is feeling We can now definitively say that you’ll know the battle’s been…

Funny how as the left lost its sense of humor it became a joke

He was the kind of husband who when his wife asked him to stop sa… complied but started looking for excuses to… panda bear

Before I met you the happiest I’d ever been was when everything I’d ever wante… was on lay-away because I didn’t have to make any…

1. Make so much money you could he… 2. Remind yourself that “there’s n… 3. Tell yourself you need to feed… 4. Eat like kings

Men are from Mars Women are from everywhere else

Soft totalitarianism is like shoes That are just tight enough To remain comfortable If you don’t go anywhere

When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs

I was voluntold to make myself sca… But scarcely do they realize In pretending to give me a choice They have unwittingly given me an… Truth or dare?

A sliver of moon follows us home in the car How nice to be fooled

By now, everybody knows Rick Deck… So, we know that when replicants r… from slave labor they are hunted down and “retired”… in service to the true humans

If you want a world that isn’t just a bunch of window dressing don’t have a world in which we’re all constantly being window…

All cars have always been getaway cars because they tell the world how much you’re getting away with but now all cars are SUVs