The soul is like water The body a glass And a dead body is just A glass from which All the water has evaporated

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

We’ve got enough to go on That there’s enough for everybody So long as we are tough enough But we couldn’t leave well enough… And soon enough

I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…

In the contest for your soul The devil has to play by God’s ru… You can’t ever get what you want Because you always become what you…

I went to bed after a gabfest and had a bad dream that I woke up on, nay in, silent retreat

If I live forty more years I figure my life will pay for itself

When America was grouped by right… We could always meet in the middle… This was called democracy But those days are over With America divided into

What I lack in hygiene I make up for in sleep hygiene

The heat of mutual disdain that always sustained us in person has cooled with depersonalized cam… that detain us via cursor

Darth Vader. Only you could be so bored.

A grown up is someone who knows the right thing to do and does it anyway

It was when Socrates ate the frui… that he added this second line of… I know that my wife knows everythi…

Life = Trial by fire Death = Trial by firing squad

The difference between the Pax Romana and the Pax Americana is that while all roads lead to Rome