Forecasting the rain in Spain is mainly done in vain

You can spend your life trying to understand why bad things happen to good people only to learn that good people do bad things

I was happy alone Because being together Meant being lonely Until you showed me That being together

Told to shut my mouth I took them literally Zipped my lips And held my breath Until I could stomach it no longe…

Kid, I’ve flown from one side of the galaxy to the other, I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s a theory of mind controlling everythi...

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized

If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted

Strange that we use Out of order for broken and for breaking the rules As if the Coke machine

Past– I know what I want Therefore, I need someone to tell… so I can go ahead and do it Present–

When the NSA reads my email are they ab– le to discern tone

Self-flattery will get you everywhere but there’s nowhere left to go

The sooner we realize that wholeness is impossible the sooner we can redouble our efforts towards obtai…

When I ask myself if I might be wrong, there’s a whole lot of red tape

As usual, the materialist is half-… When he insists life (By which he means his life) Is no laughing matter But he will remain a halfwit until

Decisions my wife doesn’t make are settled by stare decisis