The dream has always been To build a time machine And go back in time To change the present But some things never change–

The quartermaster is responsible f… and nothing more Some of you will be content to half-ass the rest of it Some of you will be willing to ris…

Why is there something rather than nothing? Because nothing is impossible

Wonder Woman’s invisible jet was like a stratospheric glass cei… preventing her from flying like Superman

I believe in the great man theory of history because the good man theory of history is so obviously false

The cause of it all Is infinite possibility So, you can do anything You set your mind to So long as you maintain

I knew Remain was in trouble when they announced that a vote fo… was also a vote in favor of renami… Brexit McBrexitface

In ancient times the scribe produced holy texts through which you encountered the sacred Today, the coder makes hypertexts through which

For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant

A wise man once told me that there are two kinds of family prob… He said Family Problem #1 is not having a family

In Let there be plight the P is silent

You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling

Words get in the way and a picture is worth a thousand words

I could do a passable moonwalk in socks on linoleum but if I put on one glove I had to take off one sock

You and God are like socks– No matter how far apart you get You are still a pair You and God are also like pants– Even though you are forever one