Staring at your phone came to be known as the thousand yard stare

If as according to us their problem is being worse than… at least they can get better But our problem

You can’t put a square peg in a round hole but you can put a JPEG in a memory hole

The annoying thing about blenders Is how loud they are But then again My mouth functions as a blender And I’m a loudmouth

The American cure for the boredom of meaninglessness is not to pursue meaning but to outpace boredom which is why our mass nihilism

I can forgive myself anything exce… All of my contingency planning Was contingent upon Sending a contingent of negotiator…

Man’s job is to think of a way To put God’s plan into action What is God’s plan And how do we take action? God’s plan unfolds

You have to do the right thing aut… At the same time you are doing it… This seems impossible because No one has ever quite done it Which is why you might call it

We subtract to find the difference But at bottom There is no difference Leaving it up to us To make a difference

No one can describe exactly What it was like When God spoke directly to all 2… At Mt. Sinai Because it was the only time

We used to say Hold the phone Metaphorically Because we were about to say somet… Or because we needed to stop and t…

The difference between the walking… And the walking dead Is what they have in common– The walking wounded can laugh at t… And the walking dead can only laug…

The smartest gal in the room Is the one who realizes All the adults in the room Are emotional children Behaving like holy terrors

Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche

The B is silent in subtle but spo… B-cause a B-ing B-comes human by saying the quiet… The B-all and end-all Is the B-ginning and the end