Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”

We can’t fool God But we can fool ourselves into thi… We fooled God The surest way to do so Is to fool ourselves into thinking

When we imagine the future, we say One day Because One day is the name of a day As in New Year’s Day

The pleasure in a magic show is wondering how the magician did it

Ever since I got my first smartphone it feels like I’m visiting a museum and all the decent human beings

God gave us creation and said Help yourself and so, we plundered it realizing too late that the only way

If we’re to believe the internet a hero’s journey consists of a hero who goes on an adventure, is victorious in a decisive crisis… and comes home changed or transfor…

They say if you expect disappointment then you will never be disappointed But I say

People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…

Much of life is boring Which is also why Life is so funny

Physicists insist that time can flow both forward and backward So, I always insist on sitting in the backward facing seats of th… because I need to be able to see

I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right not to mean it

I’m the kind of guy Who doesn’t ride a motorcycle But always wears a leather helmet

If Star Wars is actually told From R2-D2’s perspective Then our only hope Is that God lets us go on believi… We are more powerful

Everyone has a gift in life and mine is knowing exactly how much I can bid in a silent auction without winning