In the west Since we can’t control time We just buy more time An approach used elsewhere With equally mixed results

You both cause and cure real self-… by performing fake self-loathing for an online audience The cure takes when you’ve no authentic self left

Many people think of life as a gift but to me it’s more like

The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them

When we were kids we liked to spell Mississippi out loud for fun but we never pronounced the S’s–

I always like to know where I stand and I always bring an umbrella that can double

Women give hints So that men will think It was their idea I’ve never been good at taking a h… But I’m good at following orders

When success is made mandatory for all it becomes impossible for any

Fight fire With fire Accordingly, A bureaucracy can solve any proble… With more paperwork

In the confession booth I have a confession to make so that I can receive forgiveness In the show trial I have a confession to make up

It’s because certain questions will get you killed that certain other questions are also answers

It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect

One of the clearest differences be… Is that all of God’s rules Are written down in the Torah While the devil strictly relies on… This is because

The Cheshire Cat and Schrodinger’s Cat couldn’t agree on a place to meet

Jews learned the hard way That because God sanctions God also sanctions– In this lies their certainty about… Most other nations just know