In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten

In the end no one could be held accountable for the catastrophe not because there weren’t plenty of warning signs

People don’t like surprises so I tell them they’re in for a real surprise which gives them something to look…

You can cash in on your talent You can cash in on your good looks You can cash in on your hard work You can cash in on your good luck You can even cash in on all four

You can’t win, Dearth– Your winnings will never be enough To change your nature Which is lacking the means But knowing the end

You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling

Just because they’re coming to get you doesn’t mean you’re not paranoid

Since seeing is believing all that we really want is kept out of sight, out of mind leaving everything we think we kno… to the imagination

I’m no angel But I have two angels– One to protect me from others And one to protect me from myself So, I was never alone

Generation X Marks the Spot Where a hex Is an aught But a flex

You cannot make people want What they do not want And wanting it on their behalf When you secretly want what they w… Is a selfish wish that your dreams…

The difference between the walking… And the walking dead Is what they have in common– The walking wounded can laugh at t… And the walking dead can only laug…

The most useful secret agents Are those who don’t know the secre… That they are agents of warfare

Just because life is good doesn’t mean it isn’t also too much of a good thing