The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…

A mid-life crisis happens when you realize that life is a treadmill which keeps speeding up until you fall off

I was waiting for my ship to come… But maybe I should have made like… And built a ship Especially since my neuroses all c… You’ve probably heard of them–

Frequently, God’s light is like sun glare, telling me to slow the heck down

My soul is the sole part of me My body makes me one of us My mind is made up Of body and soul– So, just like you, I am

We’ve taken the mystery out of lif… Which makes this a murder mystery Because in choosing immortality We are killing ourselves More accurately, then

We’re told the space between galaxies is expanding but mightn’t the space within galaxies

You bet your bottom dollar I’ll bet the bottom of my heart

I was voluntold to make myself sca… But scarcely do they realize In pretending to give me a choice They have unwittingly given me an… Truth or dare?

Apocalypse now in the eternal now

Raised with reverse psychology– Love your enemy– It was only once The world was turned upside down That I saw things as they really…

Everyone wants to drive a wedge between the monotheists and the Da… when the only real difference is that the former believe this land was made for you and me

Never get greedy Always cut your losses And remember that it’s better to be lucky than good and it’s bad luck to be so good th…

The days of having a cold spell have given way to the era of casting a cold spell