When I was a baby My mother wiped my bum Social media, then, is the fountai… As I become its obedient child Every time it wipes my memory

My wife fell right back in love with me when we came up with a rubric

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized

If you want to win friends and inf… Find out what they care about (This is easy) Ask them about it (This is significantly harder)

“Life”, as it’s come to be known,… And ends with a grand finale But in between there’s just a lot… And grandiloquent small talk But there are grand plans for a se…

Like a fine wine liberalism only rises to the subli… with a good pairing

They can kick you out and send you to Siberia but they can’t kick God out of Siberia

An overreaction used to tell you who was guilty Now it’s just another link in

I always wondered if mimes were a type of clown until having my mind blown by the insight that

A planning committee’s second most… Is coming up with a plan That everyone can agree to But no one is happy with This sounds strange until you real…

It was only when I shared my out of body experience that I came to understand it was nothing out of character

I try to win but I don’t play to win; I play to play

Human beings have always used the symbolic to navigate the real; until recently we did so by imagining that the symbolic is rea… whereas scientists imagine that

It is often wondered whether the v… People of the Book are reading fiction or non-fiction but since they are each reading an… of a relationship that is phenomen…

Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them