It’s taken me this long to underst… like Pee Wee Herman I meant to do that though I’m still unsure why Because as hard as it’s been

In the confession booth I have a confession to make so that I can receive forgiveness In the show trial I have a confession to make up

There is one reason And one reason alone That God won’t ever give up on yo… You are His job And God loves His job

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

Every story has side effects but the side effects from true sto… may be life threatening

The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…

If you want to feel a little bit guilty just break a rule or two But if you want to feel well and truly guilty

The only way to know you’re not paranoid is to stay connected at all times so you can rest assured

The lie you chose to believe Always contains the truth That has chosen you The lie is comforting Because the truth is disturbing

In the real world there is no plot to speak of but plot devices everywhere

There’s no time like the present: Do it now Like, there’s no time like the pre… Do it now, but from an ironic dist… There’s no time to like the presen…

Strange that we use Out of order for broken and for breaking the rules As if the Coke machine

The US Constitution rules out cruel and unusual punishment but that and a nickel will get you 1% of a cup of coffee now that cruelty is the usual

History won’t begin when we elimin… hoping that now everyone will get… Because step 1 in ending status i… and step 2 turns out to be elimina… This simulacrum that we live in ai…

You can’t cut the cord When you are the cord Connecting what you’ve been told y… With How you will inflict that burden o…