Everyone makes fun of the weatherman for getting the forecast wrong as if getting it right is his real job

My boss said It’s my way or the highway so, I took the highway to hell But when God said It’s your way or the doorway

The most common rookie mistake is thinking that because you know what you were saved from that you also know what you were saved for

Materialism is no way out of Cartesian dualism It just turns backwards– I am, therefore I think– in an infinite regress

Philosophers dream of “The view from nowhere” Granting pure objectivity Instead, we got the internet’s View from everywhere

In this charming reboot of a classic kidlit gumshoe series our eponymous hero Wikipedia Brown solves thought crimes by

Democracy is a game of bridge where each coalition must partner… and going for broke requires not just suicidal risk but a suicide pact,

The distance between zero and one is infinitely greater than the distance between one and infinity

That moment when you reclassify yourself from a mystery to an unsolved mystery

According to Exxon Mobil absolute solar power corrupts absolutely

Our souls have a body Our bodies have five senses And we all have a sixth sense That there is no sixth sense Yet we’re left with a sense of sel…

In the same Talking Heads song the “road to nowhere” is both a “road to paradise” and the way “they can tell you what to… and “make a fool of you”

There’s always an excuse So, there’s never an excuse For running out of excuses

Civilization is an attempt to filibuster death

AI didn’t write this poem; it wrote the algorithm that decided whether or not you would read it