When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs

Were I not happily married to my Jewish bride I would have happily lived out the rest of my days none the wiser

Pacifism is the ultimate weapon For if you can prohibit your enemy From defending himself Then all that’s left Is to love him to death

Antizionism feels powerful Because it claims the authority Of giving permission to hate But the feeling is soon vanquished Requiring another hit of hate

Unlike Saul, when the scales fell from my eyes I learned I was a serpent, sheddi…

To break up with your significant other just say I need space To break it off

God is hard to know– That’s how you know He is God And how He knows you care Whereas the devil doesn’t care How you found him

Never answer a yes or no question. Answer the question that you wish had been asked of you: “Ms. Magill, I’m gonna give you one more opportunity for the world to see your answer. Does...

In addiction there is never enough… In God there is always enough How much is enough? As much as we can take And in addiction, we can’t take an…

Chaucer said All good things must come to an en… Which was widely If begrudgingly Accepted as a good thing

Excuse me, Are you still Taking excuses?

For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant

People complain that Jews stick t… In spite of, or, more likely, beca… That it is why Jews are still her… And always will be Jews stick together because

It didn’t matter that I’d been scrupulously carbon neutral; my interlocutors persisted until I realized that the desire to make… had left a vast carbon footprint o…

Bureaucracy’s biggest sin Is malingering as democracy– Bureaucracy sees the will of the p… As a form of madness But pretends to follow the will of…