He was the kind of husband who when his wife asked him to stop sa… complied but started looking for excuses to… panda bear

Smile and the whole world smiles with yo… Laugh and the whole world smiles with yo… Cry

The only colleges left standing will be the ones that can make you look smart while you’re playing dumb

My psychic told me I needed to ta… I said I already knew that I came here to look before I leap

When people meet me they typically think I’m a sensitive guy but later they realize I’m a time sensitive guy

When women need a break from the m… they must be able to endure a whole lot of his navel gazing

Desperate to identify new funding… We gambled that a steady stream of… Would flow to those whose stream o… Forebode the worst downstream effe… So, we began livestreaming the fut…

Goodbye is not always goodbye In fact, it never is For while I may never see you aga… I’ll never unsee you

Guilty, I’d pled when left for dead for what I had said but as the undead squeezed my bonehead

In the end no one could be held accountable for the catastrophe not because there weren’t plenty of warning signs

The epic poem for this epoch will have to say the most with the least

If you’re locked out of your house you can die from exposure but if you’re locked in your house you can die from overexposure

Who is my trainer? God Who is my sparring partner? God Who is my cornerman?

If you really loved robins you would stuff your bird feeder full of worms

Optimists dance the two-step: It’s going to get worse before it gets better Pessimists plod