In the old country song When Mac Davis sings “Oh lord it’s hard to be humble When you’re perfect in every way” I always assumed

They can kick you out and send you to Siberia but they can’t kick God out of Siberia

Yes, I am most afraid of losing c… But you can’t lose what you don’t… So, I’m afraid of nothing Which is how you die alone The only way to live together

All the games people play Are iterations of the same game: Playing along Playing along is a language game And the only way to win the game

If you need to appear weak to access power you’ll end up weak-kneed and abuse your power

A mid-life crisis happens when you realize that life is a treadmill which keeps speeding up until you fall off

God loves you more than anyone els… But if you live in denial of this Inevitably you will come to believ… You are your own biggest fan As you stalk yourself

Our phones are latched to our face… Exactly like the Facehugger in Al… Rendering us passive As our phones insert the bioweapon We call fear

God’s hand Is a fist Until the moment You come to fear God

At work They know me by my secret identity The mild-mannered Clark Kent But at home with my family I can relax and let them see the r…

Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche

Two roads diverged the one to the left leading up the garden path the one to the right leading down the garden path

On business trips to Moscow I never wear my three piece suit

Fox News said it was “Fair and B… which supposedly meant that it was… because it was balanced but really it meant that it was fa… because it wasn’t balanced–