Until the company’s weekend retrea… I didn’t know that my leadership s… was like never having braces but still wearing a retainer

When they closed all the beaches my dad said not to worry and I just knew he’d install the swimming pool I’d always wante… Instead, I came home from school

The opposite of failure Isn’t success It’s epic failure

We’re running out of time Because we’re running So walk, don’t run For though we have no time to wast… Haste still makes waste

Of late I always feel like I just got off one of the spinning rides at the county fair but that’s just the sensation of civilization accelerating as it

My biggest mistake In fantasy football Is expecting today To be like yesterday Come to think of it

Nobody remembers how to forgive Because posting on social media Is an act of seeking approval

I was one of the ones who craved religion without religion This, apparently was easy to arrange But now that I’m longing for

You can’t be free of self-consciousness so you have to be free with self-consciousness; we call this condition

Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”

We talk about current times But time is a current That gives us our power We hate death Seeing it as the loss of all power

It is only when you conduct a fearless moral inventory that you will come to fear God because you knew the right thing t… but did the wrong thing anyway

By preserving crucial memories Your amygdala prepares for the fut… Through understanding the past By digging strategic memory holes The internet controls the present

Individual psychology is formed by… to lead the group into competition and it is only through the struggle between groups that the individual experiences