As the new Assistant to the Deput… your primary initial responsibilit… 1) Establishing détente between wo… and paleo dietary restriction fact… while maintaining the dining hall’…

If we know our physics is real Because GPS works Then we know our God is real Because language works

When I die I’m go– ing to donate my body to pseudoscience

If we had our druthers We would be insufferable Instead, we suffer As if desire were a curse And not our saving grace

To whom it may concern: Time travel is impossible

My dad was a very religious man He always told me You’ve made your bed now you’ve got to not eat in it

It’s counterintuitive but refusing to make hard choices only to see them made on your beha… by the loudest voices still counts as being hoisted by y…

Either Life imitates art and becomes an exhibition Or Art Imitates Life

A boundary is a line until you cross it when it becomes a binding leaving you all tied up with nowhere to go

I can forgive myself anything exce… All of my contingency planning Was contingent upon Sending a contingent of negotiator…

Waiting for a sign Is a sign of the times And while we were waiting God kept delivering the raw materi… One day at a time

All opinions are wrong but you can only learn from your own mistakes

The world is An interrogation room And God is behind The two-way mirror

I’m still the kind of person who is shocked that you can run out of gas and run out of luck at the exact same time

Kid, I’ve flown from one side of the galaxy to the other, I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s a theory of mind controlling everythi...