It was easier to live the lie I w… Than to face the truth we all knew But eventually The truth blew up in my face And now it’s written all over my f…
All behavior is purposeful and all behavior is self-serving until you realize that all behavior is self-serving which is when you find out what ha…
They let Potter get away with any… but somehow I get expelled for flo… that a wizard can’t have the same… even though zero (magic) is only half as large as double ze…
People understand that their socia… depends on their phone but they wrongly believe that the existential question at h… is the familiar
Early on a Friday morning Just before I awakened My rabbi said, in a dream So, this is the way the Torah wor… But before he could explain
My biggest mistake In fantasy football Is expecting today To be like yesterday Come to think of it
Rome wasn’t built in a day But it was sacked In a day and a half
You’ll know you’re talking to God When He doesn’t talk back Yet you still have your answer
Relationships are hard work unless you’ve preemptively announc… that you’re quitting but staying on as a volunteer
A dissident today is anyone who realizes that since you’re damned if you do damned if you don’t
Each question on the purity test concludes with the following promp… Which two answers are correct? And you always have the same four choices:
We’re all like unharvested potatoe… covered in dirt thinking that means we’ve got the dirt on each other
I don’t have any delusions of grandeur; I have delusions of posthumous grandeur that would retroactively nullify
When we were kids we liked to spell Mississippi out loud for fun but we never pronounced the S’s–
History’s first lesson– the ABCs– is that, unless coerced not to people kill the ones they hate History’s second lesson–
